I Watch Things Too: Why Haven't You Seen Oldboy?

Man of Steel- What? How the? Did they just? Why?

I’m at a loss for words, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. Man of Steel is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in some time. And I’m not just saying that for dramatic effect. In case you haven’t gathered, much of my day is spent in front of a TV. By a quick glance at the law or probability, I’ve encountered numerous bad films, but this was one of the worst in recent memory.  Rarely do I have the desire to stop mid-way, but I almost did just that on several occasions.

Within the first 45 minutes there is a distinct lack of a driving conflict. Rather than taking time to develop characters, Man of Steel putters about. The opening scene of the destruction of Krypton feels, for lack of a better term, alien and out of place. Not to mention it drags on for far too long. After the rude welcoming, things only manage to get worse as the story becomes disjointed and contrived. The narrative jumps back and forth between flashbacks to a young Clark Kent and present day Superman in such a repulsive manner. It’s shocking Christopher Nolan, who had a hand in the story, was in anyway involved.  After all, this is the man responsible for Memento, a hallmark among non-sequential storytelling.

After a long-winded and incredibly poor exposition, nearly every character falls flat. The love story between Superman and Lois Lane is forced in during a couple small exchanges.The rest of the cast is no better. Antagonist, General Zod, might as well have been shouting “I’m evil because reasons,” the entire way. We’re told what he wants to do, and yes it isn’t so wholesome, but the lack of depth makes the reasoning feel hollow.

Then there is the matter of Superman. Oh, how they’ve botched that poor fellow up. Now I’ve never been a fan of the man in red and blue, thanks to the whole Superman paradox, but the idea of a darker film intrigued me. In retrospect, maybe it’s not such a good idea. Watching Superman smash around without a single care for collateral damage is downright out of character. I’m honestly half-surprised he doesn’t beat Zod over the head with a bag of kittens. It would have almost been more fitting than him playing the good guy.

When it comes down to it, maybe it was just a poorly handled film and the a darker Superman is possible. I know the subject has been touched upon in some comics, but I have to wonder what would happen if a truly well made film covered such a thing.

Before I close this out, I do feel obligated to prove that Man of Steel isn't completely devoid of quality. There’s a span of 10-15 seconds during the final fight that aren’t entirely horrible.

So yeah, Man of Steel has 10-15 seconds of mediocre entertainment. What a masterpiece, right?

Kill la Kill- Episodes 1-9- If the all around over the top insanity of Kill La Kill proves anything, it’s that what qualifies as acceptable levels of violence and sexual content in on entertainment is very much a case to case matter. One thing is certain though, Trigger Studios put a whole lot of work into making a highly distinctive style, and it paid off big time. While the surrealistic animation is reminiscent of older works, several other elements are mixed in with great success.  From the color palette to the zany character design, Kill la Kill is a visual treat.

I should however bring up the clothing, or rather the lack there of it. At first I was bothered by Ryoku’s outfit; not the one shown above. It came off as nothing more than uncreative pandering, but the further I progressed the more comfortable I became. It’s not just the female characters put on display: it’s everyone. Really, the skimpy clothing plays in with the bonkers tone. If it bothers you, I understand, but I’d suggest questioning if it’s all that bad in comparison to the nonsensical violence. That’s not too say either of them should be removed, because they play quite well together and Kill la Kill wouldn’t be Kill la Kill without them.

What surprises me most is the story. It’s no Death Note or Cowboy Bebop, but it doesn't need to be. It’s shit-brain crazy. I mean, the premise is there are school uniforms, Goku uniforms, which give their owners superhuman powers. School council president, Satsuki Kiryuin, has employed them to enforce some sort of dystopian society, hell-bent on world domination. The resistance? Well, besides Ryoku, there is an organization call NUDIST BEACH destroying all the Goku uniforms. At times the narrative seems to get a little too in love with the nonsense and forgets to have any real progression, but it’s mostly oozing with all the right kinds of filth and stupidity. Characters as just as loveably insane too. There isn’t a single one who feels too ordinary. Each has their quirks which are ready to burst at any second.

Simply put, Kill la Kill is overflowing with creativity in a farcical, semi-parody, off-the-walls and into your face sort of way. It is everything American action TV is not, and I love it!

Iron Man 3- How does one properly go about making the first post-Avengers Marvel film? Well, just ask Iron Man 3’s director, Shane Black.

Iron Man has always been amongst the stronger super hero films and the third does nothing but accelerate the series to new heights. Tony Stark's struggle with PTSD after the events of The Avengers is a refreshing taste of character drama the genre has rarely touched.  With more than a few unpredictable and unconventional twists- including one which breaks down expectations at the most opportune time- I have to say this is one of the better written super hero flicks. It doesn't try too hard to be dark like Man of Steel or even The Dark Knight Rises. There’s a healthy balance of upbeat Tony Stark wit and the grizzled super hero veteran behind the armor.

Of course Iron Man isn't Iron Man without some new toys, and bombastic action. Is it anything we haven't seen before? No, but it's just as good as any of the previous movies. There are explosions and men in metal suits shooting rockets and flying about. What more could you ask for? The final brawl is a bit underwhelming though. Most of the action shots not containing Iron Man come off as filler. Besides a select few, everyone feels inconsequential to the outcome of the brawl.

All in all, Iron Man 3 is certainly my favorite in a well made series. It doesn’t do much to better the action, but as far as story and characters go, it’s a cut above the rest.The best part, and the main reason I watched though, was to see if Shane Black still possessed the ability to direct. At this point I think it's safe to say he can, so bring on Death Note!

Oldboy- Rewatching movies isn't really my thing. There are simply too many options to spend any amount of time on second passes. Oldboy, well there's an exception if I've ever seen one. Which is odd considering its one of those films whose biggest punch is the late twist.

That doesn't mean there’s a lack of substantial quality elsewhere.

The premise? Drunken letch- and protagonist- Oh Dae-Su is kidnapped and held captive for 15 years with only a TV and his thoughts to keep him company. After being released in circumstances just as mysterious as his disappearance,  Oh Dae-Su seeks revenge on those who imprisoned and framed him for his wife’s murder. In the process, to learn the why and who, several twist and turns are made, culminating in one hell of a final 30 minutes.  Attempting to get a peek at your phone, or even taking a bathroom break is rendered useless by the constant tension.

The action is no slouch either. Beautiful cinematography supports fights chock-full of personality. They’re few and far between, but it’s the rarity which helps make them so enjoyable. Extended periods of juicy narrative are punctuated with fast-paced and brutal action scenes.

What kills me though is that so few people have seen Oldboy. Unless, you’re an entertainment junkie like myself, you’ve more than likely brushed it aside because of the foreign film labeling. News flash! There are some incredibly talented creatives outside of the U.S. or wherever the hell you hail from.

So jump on Netflix this instant and look up Oldboy. You better take a bathroom break beforehand though, otherwise you’ll be in need of some new apparel.

A Sinking Ship- Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag Review

As yearly franchises, or anything close to it, go; Assassin’s Creed has better managed a certain level of quality. Even when Ezio was wearing out his welcome in Revelations I still found myself having a good time. Things may have not differed from the previous two installments a whole lot, but at the heart, was the ever-entertaining combat and parkour action. Fortunately AC: III brought a similar feeling of freshness that the AC: II had several years before. Even if I no longer cared for Desmond's story, mucking about in the Revolutionary War was grand. However, when Black Flag was revealed earlier this year, I was starting to tire of my time-traveling escapades. AC: III’s ending may have been a mess, but it was an ending nonetheless, and the idea of jumping back into the Animus for a fifth straight year was not very enticing. Still, after hearing plenty of positive hullabaloo, I decided I would give Black Flag its fair chance. We don’t get enough pirate games after all, and how bad could it be?

While never boasting stellar narratives, the stories of Ezio, Connor, and even Altair were easily sympathetic. This isn’t the case for Black Flag’s, Edward Kenway. The start is a promising one. Kenway has a refreshing lack of allegiance to the Assassins and would much rather spends his time sailing the high seas, and daydreaming about his lover back in England. From here, everything comes crumbling apart, because frankly none of the characters are the least bit interesting. Far too often Ubisoft tries to play-up your hanging out with infamous pirates, as if that were a proper substitute for character development. By the time the final hours roll around it’s more of a guided tour than a story. Even Kenway becomes little more than a list of traits. There’s a late-game moment where you’re supposed to feel for him and all his struggles, but it falls flatter than Kansas. I was however surprised by how much I enjoyed the set-up of the modern day sequences. The idea of Abstergo mining memories from the Animus to use in feature films and other forms of entertainment is meta to the overarching narrative of the Assassins and Templars. Detrimentally, the final sequence pans out just as poorly as Kenway’s.

The lack of interesting characters got me thinking. Was the Golden Age of Piracy really the best of choices? Apparently not. Well, at least not when the characters fail to be fleshed out. It’s simply not enough to meet a person named Blackbeard or go to town named Nassau when there's no personality behind the titles. Even as someone moderately familiar with many periods of history, I rarely caught myself having those “oh wow” moments with recognizable pieces of architecture and familiar names.

Which brings me to my next complaint. Much of the time spent on land, is done so in incredibly dull landscapes and towns. Imagine the city you enjoyed the least from all the previous games. Scale that down and then take away almost all of its verticality. That’s the best offered. When not in the underwhelming civilized areas, there are tiny islands and incredibly linear jungles to bore you even further.

I’m sure there are some arguing it’s not about the cities or jungles, and that you spend most of your time on the high seas.  You sure do. You really, really do. Now I’m one of those nutty people who enjoyed sailing in The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker, so I expected the same of Black Flag. When your crew is singing sea shanties, the suns is setting, and you’re navigating the blue waters of the Caribbean, it’s a soothing time. However, when the majority of gameplay is taken up by sailing around, fighting identical ships off the coast of samey islands, the charm soon wears off.  Speaking of tedious, naval combat also quickly becomes a one trick pony. Fights eventually boil down to circling weaker ships or employing hit and run tactics on stronger ones. I understand the naval missions of AC: III were a big hit, but I think Ubisoft has overdone it. Multiple missions have some contrived reason to force naval combat. Rather than stealthily avoiding large forces, Kenway seems dead-set on getting his entire crew killed. Enemy ships bar the harbour, why not just land on the other side of the island? No, screw that, let’s take them on, because reasons! And it’s not just naval affairs. A late game boss battle not only forced me to kill with only my pistols, but enforced numerous other arbitrary stipulations. 

The overall mechanics of on-land combat remain unchanged from III, but with several odd hiccups floating about. Kenway’s arsenal is laughable in comparison to Connor’s. New additions include blow darts...and blow darts. More weapons are removed then added. There’s no bow. You don’t unlock the rope darts until the final couple missions, and the pistols are shaky at best. Glitches and poor design are also more prevalent. Sometimes hitting attack only makes Kenway perform jazz-hands. Surrounded by enemies and he just stands there and takes it. More aggravating are the random enemies who appear from off screen, already in full swing.

When things do work however, slaughtering large groups is as fun as it ever is. By no means does Black Flag break the trend of easy swordplay, but when you string together kill after kill, it’s an exhilarating as ever. I only wish you spent more time on land, then at sea. Black Flag hits it’s highest marks when you’re gutting British and Spanish troops by the dozen. 

Like in every previous titles since AC: II, there is a multiplayer mode to speak of. Not a whole lot has changed since III, which is a good thing. The cat and mouse gameplay can be thrilling as you run through levels trying to ditch or catch your opponents. While enjoyable, I still don’t believe it’s the time-sink Ubisoft hopes it to be. You’ll likely to be able to pick up a few rounds every now and then, but don’t expect to spend days and days online. Beware, you still have to deal with Ubisoft’s uPlay passport which also infuriatingly cuts out fleet management from single player.   

My hopes were well in check when I picked up Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag, but that didn’t seem to help. As a series there is still potential, and I’ve not completely given up on the franchise, but these yearly installments are doing no favors. Assassin’s Creed is at it’s strongest when it takes time to innovate. Much of the newer features in Black Flag fail to entertain but the core experience is still there in a weakened state. There’s the required base for the makings of a good game, but it never comes together for very long. For every hour of enjoyment, there is one of frustration.

Should you get Black Flag? Well, that depends on how desperate you are. I’d suggest you wait though. Clear out some of your backlog, or get something more promising while you wait for a significant price drop.

6/10

GTA Fans Are More "Disturbing" Than Katawa Shoujo Fans

Recently, I finished watching Oreimo, an anime about a brother that learns his little sister is not only an otaku, but a die-hard eroge player. To an outsider, Oreimo may appear even stranger than most anime — a feat in and of itself — but I not only found it very enjoyable, but insightful. However, the point of this piece is not to tell you all about the shows I’ve been watching, but to present some discourse regarding one of my most recent gaming endeavors.

But for the sake of the story, bear with me a little longer. Throughout the show, there is one type of video game repeatedly played by the siblings: visual novels. This got me thinking; why I have not given the genre a chance? Visual novels are story-based and posses branching paths dependent on player choice. Few things could be farther up my alley.

So I ventured into Katawa Shoujo. Now if you’re familiar with the title, you may have some very strong opinions, even if you’ve never played it. Why? Because Katawa Shoujo is often classified as an eroge. 

Eroge. There’s that word again. What does it mean?

Well, some say it has no concrete definition — much like most genres these days — but one thing is certain: there is explicit content of a sexual nature in every eroge. Does Katawa Shoujothen qualify? Well, not in the sense you may be thinking. The sex scenes are hardly any more pornographic than what you see in critically-lauded shows such as Game of Thrones. They’re also not randomly thrown in for the sheer purpose of satisfying our basic urges, unlike what Game of Thronesseems to do from time to time.

I think the issue has to do with animation touching upon the subject. Now, society in general isn’t overly fond of anime, especially here in the United States. Like all things once delegated geeky, anime has slowly become more accepted by the mainstream — but not entirely. Many still are under the assumption that all things not live-action are childish or immature. Quite possibly, in their minds, mixing something supposedly intended for children with sex is inherently perverted. But here’s the thing: a large portion of anime-based entertainment — Katawa Shoujo included — is not intended for children.

So what is Katawa Shoujo really, and how is it not intended for children? For starters, it’s a story of love and friendship centered around the daily lives of the physically disabled. It’s a heartwarming reminder that underneath it all they’re still human beings with aspirations, talents, emotions, and troubles beyond that of their disability. The characters are well-written and relatable. The purpose is to tell an endearing story, not to provide some "wank material." In a way, Katawa Shoujo is much like the stories we were told as children that served as moral compasses.

Then again, we are a society of questionable moral scales. If a piece of entertainment depicts highly disturbing violence, the ensuing ruckus is a different beast entirely than the ruckus surrounding entertainment which depicts sexual content. Why are gamers far more willing to accept Grand Theft Auto than something like Katawa Shoujo? I think we can all agree theft, assault, drug trafficking, bank robbery, and murder are far worse — see: actually bad — than two consenting lovers expressing their feelings for each other. Yet Katawa Shoujo is shoved to the outskirts of our culture, while the likes of GTA is embraced with open arms and put upon a pedestal. A pedestal made of one billion dollars.

Don’t confuse what I say though. By no means am I bashing GTA and claiming it’s harmful to the human psyche, or whatever mainstream media is yammering on about these days. All I am doing is questioning your position on the matter. It’s a healthy and socially productive thing to question one’s stance.

Do that.

Ask yourself: what makes GTA so much more socially acceptable to play than Katawa Shoujo? Hell, maybe you could even play Katawa Shoujo for yourself before casting judgment. And good news! Even if, after giving the game a go, you are bothered by the adult content, you can turn it off. When you’ve done that, I kindly ask you to return to the matter. I suspect you will do so with different views, but either way, I want to hear them.

It frustrates the ever-living hell out of me when I see such a subject arise and people are so willing to bash a game before truly understanding it. There is already enough ignorance-fueled hatred floating about in our world. Rather than add to the problem, let’s educate one another on matters we may not fully comprehend. It's just one more good bit in an effort to better not only ourselves, but our world.

This was originally posted on Plus10Damage.com. 

Functional Brilliance- Dysfunctional Systems: Learning to Manage Chaos Review

 Before I delve into the dirty bowels of this review, I would like to remind you of my recent Monday Mourning, and encourage you to keep it in mind as I discuss this truly exceptional piece of entertainment. I would also like to remind you this game's name makes writing a communicative title an almost IMPOSSIBLE feat. 

Despite previously releasing Juniper’s Knot, Dysfunctional Systems: Episode 1: Learning to Manage Chaos is the first truly interactive visual novel from the team at Dishcan Media. Set in an instantly enthralling Earth, steeped in futuristic utopia. Other worlds and planes of existence have been discovered and it is the duty of the "mediators" to keep the chaos of foreign systems in check. As Winter Harrison, players take control of the young mediator-in-training on her second mission to a world where a small and impoverished country suffers at the hands of its wealthy neighbor. A troubling matter for sure, but alongside her mentor Cyrus, it’s a supposedly routine operation.

WHAT COULD THAT POSSIBLE BE? WELL, WHY DON'T YOU PLAY THE BLOODY GAME FOR YOURSELF AND FIND OUT?

Merely possessing all the usual sci-fi workings isn’t enough to captivate an audience, a truth which Dishcan thankfully understands. While not a multiverse per se, the potential for a wide variety of settings is in place. Imagine any world you’ve read, seen, or heard about in fiction — that’s the potential we have here. Sci-fi should know no bounds. It should be one of the most creative vehicles for fiction, and all of my geeky desires were properly tantalized.

On the flipside, this isn’t Star Wars, or any other big name sci-fi universe which glosses over the depth of their characters. Thought-provoking concepts aren’t just toyed around with; they’re introduced with all the care of an explosives expert. Winter and the rest of the cast are bathed in a ocean of moral quandaries that will change them, for better or for worse.

It’s this sort of complex writing which makes Winter an incredibly sympathetic character. Having the fate of an entire country in your hands is bad enough at any age, but at fourteen it’s simply too much to comprehend. Still, it’s a "routine operation" by mediator standards, which only seems to worry Winter more. All possible routes of handling the situation, no matter how minor, have numerous permutations and potential consequences. One could easily feel overwhelmed. She does.

The only guidance she receives come from her moral compass, a meager amount of training, and the experience of a mentor she doesn’t fully trust. She's still a kid, which is made laughably obvious in relatable moments — such as her first beer. They’re subtle and seemingly inconsequential but at the same time serve to detail the inexperienced protagonist and the abrasive Cyrus. Of course, Winter’s somewhat naive and idealistic attitude directly clashes with her mentor, creating an awkward relationship between the two from the get go.  

DIALOGUE IS OCCASIONALLY STIFF, BUT OTHERWISE JUICY WITH DETAIL. 

Gameplay? Well that’s a funny thing to critique. The majority of the roughly two hour experience is spent reading and clicking to advance the scenes. You do make several choices, however, and their significance is made abundantly clear by the end. What’s spectacular is how they’re handled.

Choice-heavy and divergent path games have been popularized this generation by Mass Effect andThe Walking Dead. While they were great advances, I’m much more inclined to favor the style presented in DS:LtMC. In real life, we’re never certain of the consequences of our actions, and this is conveyed incredibly well. As a result, my decision-making was panicked at best.

You aren't thrown in completely blind; a mediator-in-training Winter collects information through conversation and posses a handy-dandy codex. Some of the information is relevant, some not so much. If the impact which was left upon me after completion is any indication of the future weight of my choices and their consequences, this series is going to be a joyride filled with regret and reverie.

A ROUGH ESTIMATE OF WHAT I LOOKED LIKE AFTER THE CLIMAX.

Without verging into nasty spoiler territory, the climax is memorable, profound, and left me stunned. As the highest marks were hit, I did nothing more than melt into my chair in complete awe. The story then comes back down to Earth, leaving you to stew in the wake of your actions. Things do drag on abit longer than necessary in the post-climax, — the epilogue feels fairly insignificant in comparison — but that didn’t stop me from being anything less than electrified with emotion.  

Visually there are few apt and equally stunning comparisons. While grounded in anime, Dysfunctional Systems is a clear divergence from anything I’ve seen before. Gritty and highly detailed, DS:LtMC is much more of a painting than your typical sterilized anime. Uniqueness cannot be tied to one singular aspect; it permeates the entire experience, which is made doubly apparent by the soil-your-pants-good soundtrack. A soundtrack that melds so many styles and themes into one beautiful anti-cacophony. It’s as if the composer employed a witch's cauldron and combined Mass Effect, jazz, electronica, contemporary JRPG melodies, and a plethora of other genres into one ecstasy-inducing auditory potion. It’s just a shame there are prolonged periods without any sort of music.

Much like in The Wolf Among Us’ case, the only reason you won’t be seeing this on my top 10 is that we won't be reaching the conclusion in 2013. Dishcan Media may be relative beginners to the genre, but it’s obvious the incredible experiences won’t stop here. Dysfunctional Systems: Learning to Manage Chaos is arguably the most enjoyable title from 2013. I’m left sitting here, debit card in hand, ready to shuriken it at my monitor in preparation for the remaining four episodes. I so desperately want to jump back into Winter’s shoes and continue the near-perfect tale.

Alas, it looks like I’ll have to hold out a while longer. 

SCORE: 9.5/10

This was originally posted on Plus10damage.com.