I Watch Things Too: Why Haven't You Seen Oldboy?

Man of Steel- What? How the? Did they just? Why?

I’m at a loss for words, so I’m just going to come right out and say it. Man of Steel is one of the worst movies I’ve seen in some time. And I’m not just saying that for dramatic effect. In case you haven’t gathered, much of my day is spent in front of a TV. By a quick glance at the law or probability, I’ve encountered numerous bad films, but this was one of the worst in recent memory.  Rarely do I have the desire to stop mid-way, but I almost did just that on several occasions.

Within the first 45 minutes there is a distinct lack of a driving conflict. Rather than taking time to develop characters, Man of Steel putters about. The opening scene of the destruction of Krypton feels, for lack of a better term, alien and out of place. Not to mention it drags on for far too long. After the rude welcoming, things only manage to get worse as the story becomes disjointed and contrived. The narrative jumps back and forth between flashbacks to a young Clark Kent and present day Superman in such a repulsive manner. It’s shocking Christopher Nolan, who had a hand in the story, was in anyway involved.  After all, this is the man responsible for Memento, a hallmark among non-sequential storytelling.

After a long-winded and incredibly poor exposition, nearly every character falls flat. The love story between Superman and Lois Lane is forced in during a couple small exchanges.The rest of the cast is no better. Antagonist, General Zod, might as well have been shouting “I’m evil because reasons,” the entire way. We’re told what he wants to do, and yes it isn’t so wholesome, but the lack of depth makes the reasoning feel hollow.

Then there is the matter of Superman. Oh, how they’ve botched that poor fellow up. Now I’ve never been a fan of the man in red and blue, thanks to the whole Superman paradox, but the idea of a darker film intrigued me. In retrospect, maybe it’s not such a good idea. Watching Superman smash around without a single care for collateral damage is downright out of character. I’m honestly half-surprised he doesn’t beat Zod over the head with a bag of kittens. It would have almost been more fitting than him playing the good guy.

When it comes down to it, maybe it was just a poorly handled film and the a darker Superman is possible. I know the subject has been touched upon in some comics, but I have to wonder what would happen if a truly well made film covered such a thing.

Before I close this out, I do feel obligated to prove that Man of Steel isn't completely devoid of quality. There’s a span of 10-15 seconds during the final fight that aren’t entirely horrible.

So yeah, Man of Steel has 10-15 seconds of mediocre entertainment. What a masterpiece, right?

Kill la Kill- Episodes 1-9- If the all around over the top insanity of Kill La Kill proves anything, it’s that what qualifies as acceptable levels of violence and sexual content in on entertainment is very much a case to case matter. One thing is certain though, Trigger Studios put a whole lot of work into making a highly distinctive style, and it paid off big time. While the surrealistic animation is reminiscent of older works, several other elements are mixed in with great success.  From the color palette to the zany character design, Kill la Kill is a visual treat.

I should however bring up the clothing, or rather the lack there of it. At first I was bothered by Ryoku’s outfit; not the one shown above. It came off as nothing more than uncreative pandering, but the further I progressed the more comfortable I became. It’s not just the female characters put on display: it’s everyone. Really, the skimpy clothing plays in with the bonkers tone. If it bothers you, I understand, but I’d suggest questioning if it’s all that bad in comparison to the nonsensical violence. That’s not too say either of them should be removed, because they play quite well together and Kill la Kill wouldn’t be Kill la Kill without them.

What surprises me most is the story. It’s no Death Note or Cowboy Bebop, but it doesn't need to be. It’s shit-brain crazy. I mean, the premise is there are school uniforms, Goku uniforms, which give their owners superhuman powers. School council president, Satsuki Kiryuin, has employed them to enforce some sort of dystopian society, hell-bent on world domination. The resistance? Well, besides Ryoku, there is an organization call NUDIST BEACH destroying all the Goku uniforms. At times the narrative seems to get a little too in love with the nonsense and forgets to have any real progression, but it’s mostly oozing with all the right kinds of filth and stupidity. Characters as just as loveably insane too. There isn’t a single one who feels too ordinary. Each has their quirks which are ready to burst at any second.

Simply put, Kill la Kill is overflowing with creativity in a farcical, semi-parody, off-the-walls and into your face sort of way. It is everything American action TV is not, and I love it!

Iron Man 3- How does one properly go about making the first post-Avengers Marvel film? Well, just ask Iron Man 3’s director, Shane Black.

Iron Man has always been amongst the stronger super hero films and the third does nothing but accelerate the series to new heights. Tony Stark's struggle with PTSD after the events of The Avengers is a refreshing taste of character drama the genre has rarely touched.  With more than a few unpredictable and unconventional twists- including one which breaks down expectations at the most opportune time- I have to say this is one of the better written super hero flicks. It doesn't try too hard to be dark like Man of Steel or even The Dark Knight Rises. There’s a healthy balance of upbeat Tony Stark wit and the grizzled super hero veteran behind the armor.

Of course Iron Man isn't Iron Man without some new toys, and bombastic action. Is it anything we haven't seen before? No, but it's just as good as any of the previous movies. There are explosions and men in metal suits shooting rockets and flying about. What more could you ask for? The final brawl is a bit underwhelming though. Most of the action shots not containing Iron Man come off as filler. Besides a select few, everyone feels inconsequential to the outcome of the brawl.

All in all, Iron Man 3 is certainly my favorite in a well made series. It doesn’t do much to better the action, but as far as story and characters go, it’s a cut above the rest.The best part, and the main reason I watched though, was to see if Shane Black still possessed the ability to direct. At this point I think it's safe to say he can, so bring on Death Note!

Oldboy- Rewatching movies isn't really my thing. There are simply too many options to spend any amount of time on second passes. Oldboy, well there's an exception if I've ever seen one. Which is odd considering its one of those films whose biggest punch is the late twist.

That doesn't mean there’s a lack of substantial quality elsewhere.

The premise? Drunken letch- and protagonist- Oh Dae-Su is kidnapped and held captive for 15 years with only a TV and his thoughts to keep him company. After being released in circumstances just as mysterious as his disappearance,  Oh Dae-Su seeks revenge on those who imprisoned and framed him for his wife’s murder. In the process, to learn the why and who, several twist and turns are made, culminating in one hell of a final 30 minutes.  Attempting to get a peek at your phone, or even taking a bathroom break is rendered useless by the constant tension.

The action is no slouch either. Beautiful cinematography supports fights chock-full of personality. They’re few and far between, but it’s the rarity which helps make them so enjoyable. Extended periods of juicy narrative are punctuated with fast-paced and brutal action scenes.

What kills me though is that so few people have seen Oldboy. Unless, you’re an entertainment junkie like myself, you’ve more than likely brushed it aside because of the foreign film labeling. News flash! There are some incredibly talented creatives outside of the U.S. or wherever the hell you hail from.

So jump on Netflix this instant and look up Oldboy. You better take a bathroom break beforehand though, otherwise you’ll be in need of some new apparel.